Dirk finished him

Rebuilding Year regrets to report yet another sad incident of athletes gone wild. Watch the first 5 seconds of this modern day Zapruder tape.

What you see is Mark Cuban’s foot soldier Dirk Nowitski kicking a basketball into the stands of unsuspecting, mostly innocent Miami Heat fans. What you don’t see is that the ball hit 62 year old Michael Alan in the head.

Michael reported after the attack that he had been suffering from headaches ever since the Germanic-Texas ambush. Michael described the moments before and after the attack to the Miami Herald on June 20th:

“He was rising from his seat when “out of nowhere, a ball hit me. It’s like a mule hit me. It knocked me down into my chair. I got a headache right away and my head was vibrating.”

Well, it’s August and Michael’s head isn’t vibrating anymore. Today’s Miami Herald reports that Alan died on July 22nd. The offical cause was heart disease and emphysema. We suspect the unofficial cause of death was Dirk Nowitski’s left foot.

Interestingly enough no autopsy on Mr. Alan has been performed.

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