All-Stars, All-Schmars

We didn’t expect much from All-Star weekend. We never do. We usually forget what time it’s on, only to remember about halfway through the three-point contest, time enough to watch Jason Terry hoist up a few clangers. At that point, we take more of whatever that was in Trainspotting and write rude emails to John Hollinger.

After all, what else is there? No one is expecting much from All-Star weekend. Some cool dunks. Hot-dogging. Falling down after winning a footrace with a 76 year old man. Typical fare. We just wonder what would happen if we made the game really matter to these players. We don’t want to include something that will matter during the regular season like home court advantage in the finals. We’re aligned with the Tyrus Thomas school of thought on this. Give every guy on the winning team an Escalade. Or a diamond Rolex. Or some groupies. Something to inspire a little defense and less let’s-all-stand-around-while-Shaq-attempts-a-17-footer.

You know, John Hollinger needs to hear our idea. Give us a minute. Seriously, we’ll be right back.

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